Beauty Reflex

I woke up early in the morning to go to a medical center for a blood test. I don’t like waking up early in the morning but I had to do so. (1)

Outside it was sunny but there is a terrible cold wind that had forced me to use a sweatshirt. It’s the first day of summer and I can’t go out with just jeans and t-shirt, that’s annoying too but I can stand it. (2)

At the medical center there were many many people all standing in a very little area. We all hate crowded place, but if you’re about 160cm, even if you are not among the shortest people in the room it’s still stressful… but, nobody was there for fun (3)

We have been told it was too late to do one of the exams because, I don’t know how, it’s related to the hour of the day.
The problem is that people don’t love questions, so when tried to understand what was the problem started a little discussion but at the end they accepted doing the test also because, the other exams were related with my period and it is already the last day possible to take the other exams. (4)

We sat in the waiting room. I started reading a Péguy’s book, but “waiting rooms usual complaint” was already started. (5)

In that moment they were all discussion about “how long it takes”… I pretended those people weren’t there and kept on reading but it started the typical COMPETITION (5) of “I’m here since…” [Even 2 hours before the center opens]. I understand their problems but…

I won’t tell you what kind of expressions I read on those people faces when I had been called soon after because they gave me “a letter instead of a number”. I really don’t know why I’ve been given a letter, I think due to the problem with the exams… someone asked “Why some people do have a letter?” and a woman said “they do different exams”.

It was annoying because I hate the fact that people’s first thought usually is a bad thought like: “this a favoritism, she doesn’t deserve this”. (6)
I usually find myself in the opposite situation and I don’t think bad of the person before I’ve some proof… but, ok, they are used to the fact there is no justice so I tried to ignore the bad expression and focused on “the other woman’s answer”

I went inside the room where they take the blood, and we tried once more to get an explanation about the fact of the correlation with the time and that test… the best explanation we got was: “It’s so because it’s so”. (7)
Fortunately I was in a good mood and I’ve been able to always answer kindly back  (I was helped by the fact that dad took the role of the annoying person) and the doctor at least had been nice with me. The “blood-test doctor” asked us which doctor suggested us these test, and if we knew we had to come early. She was surprised that our doctors didn’t advice us about this time problem…
I’m not surprised, they are human beings and doctors, they do not think about a lot of things by definition. Another annoying event but, we could just accept it.

Blood test moment.
I’ve never had problem with needles, after early childhood, but the last 2 times it had been painful to get that inside my body. (8)
My veins are difficult to be found and my blood do its best to never get out… I can’t get angry with doctor or nurses because they are usually good at doing that job, but it’s still a source of nuisance.
She took about a minute to get very few blood and she said:”it might be enough, I go to the laboratory and see if it’s ok”.

We had to go out and stay again in the waiting room, and situation there was even worse… there was no way to get calm and relaxed because every one had to complain. It seemed like they did their best to encourage someone to complain in order to get the chance to complain more.
I though it was a kind of nuclear fission of moods, but differently form a nuclear fission that situation was endless.
It usually starts when someone gets annoyed and complain about something. They usually start with the “time for the waiting” to end up with the “lack of organization”.
This complain make other people focus on the uneasiness of the situation and start complaining even louder.
In the meanwhile other people reach the waiting room and find a stressful situation that makes them start a complaint even 2 seconds after they had sat on the chair.

This complaint cycle gets endless because most of the people there cannot give a serious idea about improving the organization, thus they just complain over and over increasing their and others discomfort. (9)

Accepting the situation, focusing on something of good, talking about something else seemed to be banned from that place! (10)

I tired to keep on reading, and trying to not feeling surrounded by many noisy hens and chickens. (11)

After a few pages the doctor came and said the blood was enough. She kindly say goodbye to me and I thanked Lord, but I’m already tired and it’s only 12am.

Am I complaining?

No, I’m just wondering why they don’t take a book or something with them.

At the end, life it’s like a waiting room made up of time. You can choose to waste time in complaint or any other activity that lead to nothing, or you can try to do your best, to learn to recognize Beauty in order to find it even when the “waiting moment is over”.

Just thoughts, I understand them, but I want more than words in my life.

I had found an hotel that looked nice, good and enough cheap but…

I’ve noticed only today something that might be an REALLY NEGATIVE aspect. We still didn’t pay the rooms (at least, I think the webmaster didn’t pay) so we might have lost no money.

The actual problem is that it’s getting a little late to find a good place that doesn’t cost too much.

Once I was great in chposing places or things, now I badly fail even in this…

I wonder if there is any skill left in me.

Yeah, I’m so upset now that I seriously started thinking about giving up the idea going to the Meeting of Rimini 2010.

I want to hide under my blankets and sleep all the day long…

At least i didn’t suggest that hotel to any friend because I didn’t know how it was…